A new way of thinking

It was brought to my attention this past week by friends and family, that I should use my blog as an outlet for sharing my lupus adventure. So many friends try to understand and have empathy for me. Where I really don't think people get it lol. As a matter of fact I know they don't, because I don't get it half the time.

This illness has changed my life. Affected my sons lives, all I can do is pray things calm and go into remission. So many times I cry "it isn't fair" then I come across someone who just got diagnosed and think maybe this is why I have this. At treatment last week, a woman in her 50's was there receiving an infusion too. She sobs everytime, most of the time we are there. Yes it's scary. And depressing. Getting poked and prodded every week, twice a week isn't a glamorous event. Anyways, I finally asked her if crying helped. I cried the first couple of times, realized it gave me a headache and sucked it up. Lol. She paused and just stared at me. I introduced myself, and told her my pitiful lupus story. She says "wow you're really sick and your not sad. I watch you every time and you come in pulled together, smile on, and do your thing". She shared her story. Yeah, she's not near as bad as I am, her dr is just pushing stronger treatments sooner than mine did. Mine tried alternate methods first.
She asked how I stayed positive all the time. I told her I take two amazing antidepressants, lol, but I have Faith I will get thru this. I have too. And I have an amazing support group behind me. Sooo many friends that message me daily and tell me they're praying for me. Thinking of me. Can't express how awesome that feels. She had no one. I told her I was praying for her, and every other person there. She cried and thanked me. And said she wanted to pray for us sickos too.
So....no matter how bad a situation feels and appears, perhaps God places us in these situations for a purpose.

I have decided also this past week, that yea I'm sick and limited on activities, but I'm tire of lupus imprisoning me to my sofa or bed....with that said, I applied to attend Fresno City College hopefully, Lord willing, to begin over the summer. Something to do, to boost some self esteem. Give me a purpose. I'm looking forward to a new challenge. My treatments should hopefully end in April and I'm praying there's an improvement so I can pursue new things.

My ramblings are complete for this evening. If you've read this far, that's fabulous!!! Lol. Have a great Monday and new week!

Its been awhile......

Happy New Year!!!
Welcome to a fresher start...a new beginning. Time for change, for growing, for making Someday...today.

It's been awhile. I took time off to try and focus on what was going on in my life. My lupus has been giving me a kick in the butt, well lungs.....Lol, but I'm under close watch from Dr's.  My life is medicine and weekly treatments.... I have to listen and pray they work. I've been told a lung transplant would be in my future otherwise. And that doesn't sound like fun.

As a new year begins we always hear talk of "resolutions". I have never made one. I believe we should be striving to be better all year....not just in January. ;)
However....this year, I have thought about a small list of changes to make.....I like to call it "treatment plan for 2013"......

1.perfection.  now I know no ones perfect. But we are to strive to imitate God, and He is perfect. I want a better attitude when it comes to serving, volunteering, cleaning...working. I will strive for perfection.

2.With that comes.....I want to give 110% at being a Proverbs 31 gal. It's easy to say "I've tried, nothing changes. I already did this and that....why should I do more?" If something doesn't succeed,  I don't want it to be because I didn't give my all. I didn't try my very best.

3.Lupus kills. Yes. It's true. Dr told me so. But it's not winning me....I'm going to do better at listening...taking meds....not complaining.....and focus on positive. I've been battling depression since September, I would Love to drop the antidepressant. 

That's my year....Lol. nothing major. No big diet scheme......I just wanna live life happy, to it's fullest.

Have a fabulous start to your new year....strive to be the best you can!!