This illness has changed my life. Affected my sons lives, all I can do is pray things calm and go into remission. So many times I cry "it isn't fair" then I come across someone who just got diagnosed and think maybe this is why I have this. At treatment last week, a woman in her 50's was there receiving an infusion too. She sobs everytime, most of the time we are there. Yes it's scary. And depressing. Getting poked and prodded every week, twice a week isn't a glamorous event. Anyways, I finally asked her if crying helped. I cried the first couple of times, realized it gave me a headache and sucked it up. Lol. She paused and just stared at me. I introduced myself, and told her my pitiful lupus story. She says "wow you're really sick and your not sad. I watch you every time and you come in pulled together, smile on, and do your thing". She shared her story. Yeah, she's not near as bad as I am, her dr is just pushing stronger treatments sooner than mine did. Mine tried alternate methods first.
She asked how I stayed positive all the time. I told her I take two amazing antidepressants, lol, but I have Faith I will get thru this. I have too. And I have an amazing support group behind me. Sooo many friends that message me daily and tell me they're praying for me. Thinking of me. Can't express how awesome that feels. She had no one. I told her I was praying for her, and every other person there. She cried and thanked me. And said she wanted to pray for us sickos too.
So....no matter how bad a situation feels and appears, perhaps God places us in these situations for a purpose.
I have decided also this past week, that yea I'm sick and limited on activities, but I'm tire of lupus imprisoning me to my sofa or bed....with that said, I applied to attend Fresno City College hopefully, Lord willing, to begin over the summer. Something to do, to boost some self esteem. Give me a purpose. I'm looking forward to a new challenge. My treatments should hopefully end in April and I'm praying there's an improvement so I can pursue new things.
My ramblings are complete for this evening. If you've read this far, that's fabulous!!! Lol. Have a great Monday and new week!
This one brought tears to my eyes when you spoke about the other patient and praying. You have always been so strong and had such an amazing faith in God...I do believe this has helped you through so far. I too believe that the things we go through in life is for a higher purpose. Although we may not see it at times, but at moments like this in meeting someone else who may be struggling as well but needing some hope, it makes us see more clearly as to why we have been put through this and while also giving ourselves a stronger sense of hope. It sounds as if you brought this woman a bit of hope to her day and fight.
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